Don't Expect Perfection In Yourself Or Others - It's Unkind
Jul 26, 2020
There are many aspects to being kind. I’ve talked about ways to be compassionate toward others, as well as yourself. Kindness involves sacrifice and sharing. One often overlooked consideration when it comes to being generous is to also be accepting. Many of us struggle with the idea of being perfect and meeting certain expectations. This is a trap that only leads to unhappiness and frustration. Expecting perfection in yourself and others is simply unkind. Let me show you what I mean.
It’s Unkind
Let’s start with why it’s so unkind. When you’re kind to yourself and the people in your path, you are seeking to improve their lives. Perfectionism leaves no room for improvement. It’s absolutely unkind to expect you or anyone else in your life to be perfect. When you do, you’re holding people to unrealistic standards and setting them up to fail. That’s not kind.
It Holds You Back
The very concept of perfectionism holds you back from experiencing wonderful things and from true success. If you keep waiting for something to be the best it can be, you’re not actively working on other things. You’re not living in the moment. This trap will keep you from achieving the goals you set for yourself. It’s counterproductive, but it’s a cycle many of us fall victim to.
It Damages Relationships
Whether you’re setting unrealistic expectations of perfectionism for yourself or for others, you’re hurting relationships. Expecting the decisions you make to be perfect hurts your self-esteem and paints a negative picture of your abilities. You feel worthless and unworthy. When you place idealistic expectations on others, you’re also setting them up for failure. They’ll feel like they can never make you happy, and they’ll lose trust in your ability to genuinely appreciate them for the person they are. Your relationships can never be as fulfilling and successful as you’d like them to be when perfectionism is involved.
It’s Unnecessary
Frankly, the idea of perfection is simply unnecessary. Neither you nor anyone else has to be perfect in order to be worthwhile and valuable. You and others can still be successful and happy without being perfect. You’re a lovable contributor to society even when you haven’t achieved all you’ve set out to accomplish in life, and so are the people around you. There’s no shame in not being perfect or not reaching an unattainable ideal. Instead, you should celebrate the progress you make toward the goals you set and bask in the connections you make with others, no matter how flawed they may be.
Perfectionism is a trap, and it’s just not kind. You’ll be happier, more resilient, and have better emotional health when you embrace imperfection. Plus, you’ll be showing true kindness to yourself and to the people who matter.
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