Where to Find Comfort in Times of Grief

Grief is the process an individual goes through after they have experienced a loss. Grief can accompany a physical loss (such as a death), social loss (such as divorce), or even occupational (such as job loss).

Grief can be accompanied by complex emotions such as anger, sadness, guilt, and despair, among many others. While grief is not necessarily a pleasant process, there are ways we can find comfort in the midst of the grieving process.

Turn to Family and Friends

Family and friends can be a strong source of comfort and support during times of grief. The role of family and friends is to provide the physical and emotional support and attention needed as one processes through a loss.

This type of support primarily includes open communication and allowing for the expression of feelings and thoughts which in turn facilitates adaptive adjustment to the loss a person is experiencing.

A literature review of family dynamics during the grieving process looked at 15 studies between January 1980 to June 2013. These studies showed that in families where there was cohesion, expression of affection, and good communication, there was better mitigation of grief symptoms.

On the other hand, dysfunctional families exhibiting poorer social functioning contributed to a more complicated grieving process (Delalibera et. al., 2015).

Turn to Your Faith

One’s spiritual beliefs can be a powerful source of comfort during times of grief. One way spirituality can offer support is by offering a greater meaning or purpose for an experienced loss. Many find hope by latching onto the belief that the passing of a loved one or loss of a job is linked to a higher purpose by a higher being who is in control and works all things together for the good in the end.

Spirituality often acts as another good way for helping to cope with grief as many religions have certain practices or rituals that allow for the sharing of emotions/feelings and the gathering of community which often supports people who are dealing with grief. For instance, prayer or meditation is a common spiritual practice that can help people release and process emotions.

Reading spiritual texts can provide words of peace and reassurance during times of sorrow and grief. While attending services (in-person/virtual) or having a peer group associated with your spiritual belief can offer community support during times of grief that can uplift and encourage (Harvard Health Publishing, 2019).

Seek Professional Help

Therapists are well-trained professionals who possess skills and tools to help individuals go through the grieving process. It can be challenging to sort through the thoughts and emotions that accompany grief alone.

Consulting a professional provides a safe space to help you release pent up feelings, process through emotions, and develop healthy strategies for navigating grief and sadness following a loss (Epstein, 2019). Therapists don’t only have to be considered when someone is struggling with grief but can also be included as part of a normal grieving process to prevent difficulties and unhealthy methods of coping from arising.

Seek Uncommon Methods

Everyone’s grieving process is unique, so there should never be pressure to grieve the way another person does, especially if that way of grieving does not work for you. For some, turning to physical activities such as hiking, or kickboxing provides a physical outlet for the release of negative emotions tied to grief that helps them release and heal.

For other people, more artistic forms of coping such a painting or writing prove to be good ways to help them find comfort and peace as they grieve the particular loss in their lives. What is most important is finding the method that works best for you, even if it looks different from someone else’s.

Ultimately, grief is a complex process that looks different for everyone. Each person has to find the method or combination of methods and support to help them process what they feel and find comfort so that they can begin to move forward.

References:

Delalibera, M., Presa, J., Coelho, A., Barbosa, A., & Franco, M. H. (2015). Family dynamics during the grieving process: A systematic literature review. Ciência & Saúde Coletiva, 20(4), 1119-1134. doi:10.1590/1413-81232015204.09562014

Epstein, S. (2019, August 20). Family grief: Five keys to grieving well together. In Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-generations/201908/family-grief-five-keys-grieving-well-together

Harvard Health Publishing. (2019, September 24). Easing grief through religion and spirituality. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/easing-grief-through-religion-and-spirituality

William C. Shiel Jr., MD, FACP, FACR. (n.d.). Definition of grief. Retrieved from https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=24274