Would You Talk to Your Friend Like This?
Oct 25, 2020
They say we’re often our own harshest critics, and this is certainly true in many circumstances. The inner voice that is only too happy to dole out the criticism is never very nice about it, that’s for sure. When you’re listening to your inner critic, it’s easy to lose perspective. The negative, harsh messages you receive can truly hurt, and they usually remain in place for a long time.
A good way to manage that voice and turn things around is to reframe the words you tell yourself. Instead of being mean and insensitive in your messages, try to consider what you would say to a friend instead. Take a look below to see what I mean.
Be Gentle
Take time to break down the messages you’re sending yourself. Is there a way you can rephrase these things so that they’re gentler? That would be a great start toward overcoming the toxic effects of your inner critic. For example, pay attention to words like “never” or “always” and consider whether they’re realistic. Instead of saying, “I never do anything right”, you can say, “I’m not good at everything, but there are lots of things I do very well.” Being gentle with yourself can go a long way toward helping you to banish your inner critic once and for all.
Be Constructive
Constructive criticism is always appreciated over harsh words. A criticism may have a valid portion at its roots. Take time to dissect the messages you’re giving yourself. If you do think there may be a spark of truth to them, find ways to frame that bit into more helpful feedback. Instead of berating yourself for not being good enough, remind yourself that you could use some practice or study in a particular area if you want to excel. This is a much more empowering message to receive.
Be Kind
Finally, above all, be kind to yourself. You wouldn’t say mean things to a friend or loved one. Try to show yourself the same kind of care. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have insecurities, fears, and doubts. Be your own cheerleader and give yourself positive messages to counter your inner critic. Positivity and kindness can do wonders. If you practice this pattern long enough, you’ll start to see that your inner critic becomes a lot quieter.
Keep these suggestions in mind when dealing with your inner critic. By reframing the messages it sends and treating yourself as you would a friend, you’ll make a great deal of progress toward reaching your goals and achieving great things.
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